BlackTips Part II

Ok, Damn it, I saved the link and now it's not pulling up. So I can't give you the link, which kinda no longer makes my argument valid. Well it's still valid I guess, I mean their behavior is common knowledge.
So I read this article on Yahoo about this black family that was locked in a restaurant because they refused to pay the tip. The police were called, it was hilarious.

So this restaurant is a fairly nice restaurant. The menu said clearly "If your party contains more than 8 people a 18% gratuity will be added to your check. It was there. It was plain as day.

So these triflin' motherfuckas roll up up in this motherfucka like 35 niggas deep and eat the shit outta everything and you know they was loud as hell, you know them niggas was loud as shit, just talkin' up a mothafuckin storm in that bitch. Then they put the tip on it and you know they freaked out. They said they didn't see it in the menu but you know they did. They were just just tryin to get away with somethin. This was the south to. Carolina I think. So I'm sure that made it worse. They showed the news report too and of course they were ghetto as shit.

Now let me just say before all the black people get mad. I think the restaurant took it too far. What they did was wrong. Race aside though, having worked in the food service industry, I think it was fuckin' amazing that a manager would say "No, fuck this, these mothafuckas are gonna tip." He called Bullshit and I love it. It was also quite amusing though that it was the black people not tipping cause is such a known "stereotype." It's not really a stereotype if they do t constantly is it?

Also, I am part black and I know black people and black people you can't tell me you don't do this shit. You know you do. Don't make me get Chris Tucker or Chris Rock up in here and tell y'all what the fuck's up. You know you do. I've actually discussed this issue with black people recently and I'e had some black people tell me they tip extra good on purpose to try and relieve this stereotype from our culture. I appreciate that. Thank you, but it's not working. Not as long as black people continue to do this shit. But it's ok I don't hate black people. I still like them. and don't tell me rednecks do the same because they don't. poor white people usually tip well. It's actually rich white people that don't tip well. Come on black people no one wants to like a rich white person. If you don't have enough money to eat and tip decently (at least 15%) then don't go out to eat. Or just go somewhere where you don't have to tip. Don't be rude.

Black folks you wonder why white people don't like you and don't understand you, you wonder why there's all this tension. They are over the race thing, they want to believe we're the same but when they see black people on the national news doin' STUPID shit like this, reinforcing the stereotypes with their behavior, they can't help but to think that that's what we are.

You got a black President but even black people will tell you "Man, Barack ain't black." The man's nickname in college was Barry. there's no way he's black. Michelle black though. Michelle Obama is black as hell. Black people love them some Michelle Obama.

Anyway I found this amusing thought you might like it. Thank you for reading.  

America: A Story of Freedom

http://jstarr1986.blog.com/2012/05/13/america-a-story-of-freedom/

Here's the link to this blog. Blogspot wouldn't let me publish it for some reason...cunts. Ha! Got you sucka!

The Penn State Nittany Molesters

By J.Starr

            In the wake of all this vicious boy raping I managed to find myself a bit confused. Yes, I know, it is very shocking, someone of my intelligence being confused it’s just not normal.

            I’m just confused as to what to think. Usually I can just come in and ruthlessly state my opinions but for some reason I am bit perplexed on this one.

            On one hand there’s all the ESPN anal-lysts shouting and crying about how shocking and awful it is and don’t get me wrong, child molestation is terrible but I didn’t think it was that shocking. Boys get molested. I thought it was fairly common. Adult males being sexually obsessed with young boys has been around since at least the Greek times as far as I know. It’s not exactly something new.

            I know the shock is probably because of the cover up but come on people. Are we really still this naive as a society? Do we really believe that rich white people aren’t gonna cover shit up to cover their asses? Wherever there’s a chance for a profit, there’s cheating and lying. I mean if a rich White man wants to molest a little boy he’s gonna do it by God and he’ll do what he has to; to make sure nobody finds out, no matter how much money it takes. Jerry Sandusky just ran out of money. That’s all.

            Sorry bro! When you run outta money you don’t get to touch little boys anymore. That’s the way it works. It’s like no shoes, no shirt, no service. No money, no suckie in the shower.

            On the other hand, I’m a little miffed. These people at Penn State don’t even give a shit. “I’m just worried about our football program.” Are you serious? “I know one of our most respected football admins is tappin’ dat little boy ass but I am just so concerned about our football program. I mean gosh, what are we going to do?” Wow, way to focus on the issue on that one. Little boys have been raped for years at Dusky’s training camps and you’re worried about football? Come on. The Janitor even saw Dusky’s fat, hairy, ugly, white ass in the locker room showers with a little boy and he’s just like “Whatever. Wait a minute, did I just…naaa.” He told some higher up person and then he just drops it. What a faggot.

…and quick question btw: How much shit can u give a? Also, a shitload, how much is that exactly? Is that in pounds or ounces? Is it even American or is it metric? And if you’re one of those people who say “It’s cold as hell outside” stop it. That statement does not make any damn sense. Hell isn’t fuckin’ cold at all…it’s actually very, very hot. I would know.

…and still, even yet, I understand the Janitor’s logic too. That guy’s just tryin’ to keep his job. Is he a minority? I bet he is. You know how hard it is for those people to get jobs. There are an awful lot of accusations of child molestation hurled at older males and I’m wondering if they’re all true. If they are, then we have allot of freaky old men in this country. If molestation is anything like rape or sexual harassment then the Janitor had the right to drop it. People are always tryin’ to get money or 15 mins of fame. False accusations are a dime a dozen. They make all these fake claims. It’s pathetic. This is what our country is, a bunch of gluttonizing, fame seeking pigs blindly hoofing at the last remaining polymers of the American dream. It’s sickening. The media is sickening. The whole thing is all a dark feces laden black abyss of decay. But hey, at least you’re famous. J.Starr out!

How to Succeed in Life without Even Trying

By J.Starr

The other day I happened to be in public and this guy said to me “You fail at life.” Judging by his level of insult complexity we can only ascertain that he was a supremely intelligent human being of Stephen Hawking proportions. After miraculously surviving his paralyzing insult I couldn’t help wondering, how exactly does one succeed in life?

We can look at society and see what successful people have but those are just possessions. How did these successful people succeed in the first place? Was there some set of rules they followed? I had to know. So I examined society as closely as I could. I went to the small town coffee shops and convenience stores, I went to the big malls in Frisco, I went to Dallas, I went to Wal-Mart, I ventured to Oklahoma and soaked up our fine American culture, I watched Glenn Beck and Bill O'Reily and this is what I found.

Warning: The following is a list of the ways to succeed in life without even trying. Some are do’s, some are don’ts, all are correct. If you follow these guidelines you will succeed. At the end I will conclude the list with the most important of all rules. This rule is to be followed to a T.

The Rules

1.      Don’t be an individual.

2.      Don’t think for yourself.

3.      Stay inside the box. Think inside the bun Taco Bell.

4.      Follow, don’t lead. There’s someone better than you, they’ll do it.

5.      Don’t be noticeable. Standing out gets you in trouble.  

6.      Don’t have a personality. They aren’t necessary.

7.      Don’t smile. Don’t laugh. Happiness means nothing. Life isn’t supposed to be enjoyable.

8.      Marry for security not love. Life isn’t about love. Love isn’t real.

9.      If you’re a girl, DON’T sleep around, it’s slutty and you’re a whore if you do. No one wants a skank.

10.  If you’re a man DO sleep around its how you prove you’re not a faggot, you queer!

11.  Believe the US government. They always tell the truth.

12.  Believe that the US is the best country in the world.

13.  Believe that everything you learned about in school is completely correct.

14.  Believe that Marijuana is bad, it’s a gateway drug, never smoke it. Never do any other drugs either. No one who does drugs has ever created anything good. The 60’s is proof of that.

15.  Have children when you get married it makes you look better.

16.  Don’t have children when you’re 16. If you do and you’re a girl it means you’re a whore.

17.  Don’t be different. Be like everyone else.

18.  Shop for groceries at Target not Wal-Mart.

19.  Shop for clothes at a large mall.

20.  Believe that being popular is the most important thing you can do in high school. It completely matters after high school is over.

21.  Be born into a wealthy family.

22.  Don’t care about people’s feelings, especially women’s.

23.  Care about the war in Iraq ‘cause it’s important and it means somethin’. Have no Idea what it actually means but just know that it means somethin’ by God.

24.  Always watch the news ‘cause they’re completely accurate and never lie and always talk about the most important things that are going on in the world. They never cater to a political position. They never purposely fail to mention things. They don’t have an agenda. The best channels to watch are CBS and FoxNews.

25.  Don’t be a Liberal. They’re Crazy and they love queers and Blackies!

26.  Always claim to be Christian but never demonstrate any of its principles in your life…except, of course for the ones that are convenient for you and support your personal opinions. This should be done especially in the case of woman, sex, drugs and alcohol ‘cause all of those things are very, very bad!

27.  This one was given to me by a good friend who shall remain nameless for his protection: If you’re from Oklahoma fanatically love the Oklahoma University Sooners with ridiculous unbridled passion and hate the Oklahoma State University Cowboys, especially in football, no matter what happens or how the season turns out because football matters that much damn it! Boomer Sooner!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now it’s time for the most important. These are the ones you absolutely must follow.

28.  Never, under any circumstance be any of the following:

Black

Native American

Mexican

Middle Eastern

Asian

Anything other than White

Fat

Gay

A woman

Crippled

Retarded

or

Poor, ‘cause there’s nothing worse than a penniless loser thinking they can make it.

29.  …and intelligence…well intelligence doesn’t really matter. I mean George W. Bush made it all the way to the White House on money and his family name.

30.  …and if you are interested in being president, btw, don’t be a woman and don’t be any race other than white. The only way you’re allowed to be Black and president is if you’re only half Black and the other half is White. You must also act White…oh and you must also do nothing significant while in office so every White person in America can say “See I told you a Black man couldn’t be president.” That’s just the rules. I didn’t make them. I just follow them. That’s why I’m successful.

The Concept Plague (Kinda like the Fame Monster only less whorish and exaggerated)

Warning: The following article is a re-education for all music “artists.”

By J.Starr

            I’ve noticed a tide starting to rise up in Rock music as of late, a vicious, grotesque plague flowing like a putrid blood parasite through the deformed veins of a Frankensteined genre turning its victims into helpless, zombie-like leapers. It resembles Rock but it’s not. It’s nothing even close.

It creeps up on its victims slowly, like a rolling fog and seizes their ears, beating them to within an inch of their lives. The plague I am speaking of friends is concept albums and they are slowly destroying your musical taste.

            For some reason every “artist” currently in existence believes they possess the balls to make a concept album. It blows my mind that these bands think that they can just whip a concept out of their ass and it will be good.

Having a concept album in your catalog is a privilege. It's something you have to earn. It must be attained through years of dedication and abuse (drug, sex and/or alcohol) on the road. You have to have a string of both commercially and critically successful albums. You have to solidify yourself in the Rock world as an important band and most importantly you have to be simultaneously charismatic and enjoyably pleasing from a listening standpoint whenever playing live. A Stones cover also doesn't hurt. You can't just whip your dick out on the table on the second album and you definitely can't fuckin do two concept albums in a row. That’s a big Rock faux pa. Now with that being said of course, there are exceptions to all these rules. Just for example Pink Floyd but Floyd is always an exception.  

            The Beatles revolutionized the idea of the concept album with their 1967 masterpiece Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band. An album so critically hailed by listeners and musical historians alike that I don't really have to say anything about it. It then moved on to Pink Floyd and Queen with The Wall and A Night at the Opera collectively. They ushered the concept album in to the 70's. In the 80's we saw an almost complete loss of the concept album. The 90's didn't yield much either. Then in 2004 it happened.

            Green Day was one of the bands at the forefront of the 90's rock scene. They helped define the 90's musically and socially. They weren't the greatest musicians or singers, but they simply wrote good fucking music and that's exactly what made them so great. They are also awesome live, which, as we've already learned, is a key ingredient to making a concept album. It is fair to say that Green Day earned their concept album.

Late in the 90's their music was still successful but they looked as if they were heading towards the end of their career. Then in 2004, out of nowhere, just when we thought they were done, they reinvented themselves and released a thirteen track gutsy Punk Opera entitled American Idiot and suddenly the concept album (along with the current Rock scene) was revitalized. The album its self is actually not on my all time favorites list, however I did like a lot of the songs and I think it was sonically amazing and completely necessary for the time. Mui bien boys.

            Unfortunately it was also the hit of crack that killed the Amy Winehouse. What, too soon? If you don’t know what that is, it’s kinda like the straw that broke the camel’s back only extremely drunk and loud…and British…and if you don’t know what loud is, it’s what happens when black people talk…hmmm, I must be black…moving on. All of the sudden every shitrock band in the world was like "Hey I got an idea. Let’s make a concept album. Green Day did it, why can’t we?" Oooh oooh, I know this one, pick me, pick me, Is it because you fucking suck balls? Could that be it?

There were some concept albums that were good at the time though. One was monumental and equally as good as American Idiot. It will be discussed now. Pay attention “artists.”

            Just two years after the release of Idiot in 2006 My Chemical Romance released The Black Parade and it was a musical milestone. It is on my all time favorites list. I love this album. It is so Beatles-ish and delicious to the point of near perfection. Every song is amazing musically and lyrically. It is, and I don’t use this term like every other fuckin hack critic does, genius.

2010 vomited out The Suburbs by Arcade Fire. It was alright but overrated. Linkin Park released A Thousand Suns recently. It was also alright. I was proud of them for making something different I guess. Although I feel a more appropriate title would have been Chester Bennington and Mike Shinoda play and sing everything and still try and call it Linkin Park.

Alter Bridge released their third album entitled AB III. Clever title there guys, brilliant, really. This album was a waste of time and shouldn’t have even existed. Not doing anymore albums, however, is a great decision; I support you fully guys, reforming Creed and releasing a new album though, horrible idea. You’re too old, that whole sub genre has died, just stop. Dear Mark Tremonti, You’re gonna lose your guitar hero card if you don’t stop releasing albums full of fecal matter. 

Every time I fart there's some new artist thinking that they can write a concept album. The fact is: it’s killing me. I’m going to die if it doesn’t stop happening. My doctor told me I have 10 albums to live. It's also quite annoying.

            You know, it's a sad day in music when artists like Kanye West and Kid Cudi are releasing concept albums and I am using the term artist loosely. I mean what's next a Lil Wayne concept album? I'm sure it will be called My Life: Codeine and Diabetes or something stupid like that. All we need now is some trashy southern 70's rock band that nobody wants to hear new stuff from, make a new album and embarrass the entire southern portion of the country by calling it something completely Redneck and ignorant like God and Guns, oh wait Lynyrd Skynyrd did that already, sorry I forgot. I'm sure CMT's ratings shot up for a few months on that one though. They left out Nascar BTW. I mean God and Guns? That says it all doesn’t it. “That’s all we care about roun’ here, Gawd and Guns. We capitalize the word Gawd and the word Guns cause to us they’re equal. Hell, God and Guns go together like Copenhagen and Dr. Pepper, like missing teeth and tube tops.” Fuckin rednecks. I don’t know who’s worse as a culture Rednecks or Blacks. Dear God!

            Why don't these artists get it? Having a few hits does not qualify you as being good enough to write a concept album. The concept album is an art form unto its self and you are not a good enough artist to do it, so save yourself the critical and musical mortification, yeah look it up bitch, and stop while you’re behind.

            I neglected to mention Songs for the Deaf by Queens of the Stone Age from 2002. Fantastic album, especially if you’re consuming Shrooms. I wouldn’t know from personal experience I just know Josh Homme loves ‘em. I would like to try them though.

Now if you’ll excuse me I have to go smoke a cigarette. I love smoking after I fuck someone.

It's good to be back.

Thank you! Goodnight!

The Slavery of Racism

The following is an expose I wrote about slavery for my clollege's newspaper. I'm a staff writer. My editor said it was an issue she didn't think college students would be interested in. I disagree but whatever she's the editor. I guess we'll find out. So now you guys get to see it in it's uncensored form. Congrats to you.

Lately I have been thinking alot about race relations, in particular racism. Being born and raised in Oklahoma I am all too accustomed to the racism of the so called "common man." I found my self especially dissapointed in my home state upon recieving a whole host of racist joke texts from friends not an hour after President Obama was elected to office. The middle eastern community has been getting alot of Haterade as of late but the one race that always manages to come in first is the African American community. America's lurid history with slavery is easily mentioned whenever such issues are raised. I thought we had risen above seperate but equal yet anytime the AA community is mentioned by the AA community speration is the first thing that's clarified. Fingers are pointed and it becomes a big mess.

I personaly have never took the time to learn anything about slavery beyond what I was told in history class, (mainly because I do not give a shit, the indians were treated worse) but as I have discovered over the past few years, those textbooks have left out quite an abundance, to say the least. So I decided to look up the true history and the results I found were quite a shock.

* * * *

Before we start, know that I am not racist at all. My immediate family is quite the opposite of racist and I very enthusiasticly share their values so I figured my oppinion on this matter would be completely unbias. Turns out that I was wrong. The actual definition attributes its self to being without a bias or focus towards any one side's position. This would include no predetermined assumptions or thoughts on the matter. That would mean political correctness is bias. Because it is done in order to avoid the harm of any person's feelings. This would be catering to a position. It is actually catering to both positions, which is, in turn, not not catering to a position. It is for this reason that I will refrain from these politicaly correct terms and phrases I am accustomed to using in my normal life and proceed to use completely common terms like "White" and "Black" for the remainder of this article. Thank you and let the re-education begin.

* * * *

The first African slaves were baught and brought to present day South Carolina in 1526 by the Spanish (not White.) In 1565 the Spanish (not White) baught African slaves and brought them to Florida. The slaves were baught from Africans (not White) in Africa. So they basically sold their own people. That leaves White people out of the blame equation for the buying, selling or taking of Black people. So ha ha ha.

The first record of African slavery in British Colonial America (White) was in 1619 almost 100 years later. They were brought over by two pirate ships. One was English (White) and one was Dutch (White.) These slaves were not baught by these ships though. They were actually captured from a Portuguese (not White) ship during a battle. When the English and Dutch ships arrived to the American colony the residents of the colony were sick and dying. There were not alot of able bodied workers available because of it. The ships had alot of damage from their previous battle and were also low on money and supplies. So the ships traded 30 slaves to the colony for food and supplies. These 30 slaves joined a workforce of 1000 indentured servants. These 1000 servants were not African. They were mostly English, but some were Scottish and some were German (all three of which are severely White in origin.) This made me wonder what exactly is an endentured servant? It sounds negative.

An Indentured servant is a person that would work for a landowner for a prenegotiated amount of time. After this alotted amount of time was up they were considered free citizens and given supplies and land by their previous masters to have. So what does one do with their new found freedom? Well obtain indentured servants of your own of course, some of which were African. More than half of all White immigrants to the English colonies of North America during the 17th and 18th centuries were indentured servants. The process of indentured servanthood was well liked by the people who participated in it because they came from places that were very poor and it offered them freedom and afforded them with the opportunity to have their own land and become wealthy. That sounds equally opportunistic to me.
No let's talk a little bit about a man named Anthony Johnson. A.J. was a former indentured servant from Africa. He became a wealthy landowner on the Eastern shore of the US. Once he became successful he, quite naturally, obtained indentured servants of his own. As a matter of fact in 1654, John Casor, an African, became the first legally recognized slave in the present United States. A court in Northampton County ruled against Casor, declaring him property for life. A bit harsh. Guess who he lost the case to and was subsequently "owned" by because of it? A Black colonist named Anthony Johnson. Good 'ol AJ.

It is an important fact to know that one of the forms of punishment when a person broke the law in these early colonies was to make them a permenant slave. This was done regaurdless of what race they were. If I am not mistaken this was done in almost all cultures throughout history. Slavery was not something new to the 1800's. It didn't just show up out of no where. It existed long before any Africans were present in North America and it has effected and exploited any and every race in the process. Not just the African race. The Africans actually had African slaves in Africa before they were brought here.

One could say that this indentured servant idea was pretty good right? It turned out not to be. The problem with indentured servanthood was what the servants did when they finished their alotted time. Most were unsuccessful at farming and became part of the growing population of underclass (poor.) So basically these slaves, which were White and non White alike mind you, were given supplies and land (opportunity) but they failed to capiltalize on it. That sounds like something that would be completely their fault. Now you could say that their failure was due to the fact that they did not have any formal education but we are talking about farmming here. It's not like they were asked to preform scientific calculations. I am not saying farming isn't difficult. It is quite difficult and I am 100% certain that I could never do it. I'm saying it's not brain surgery. I know this because the Indians managed to do it successfully for 100's and quite possibly 1000's of years before anyone else was here and they had no education system at all.

The indentured servants lived and worked on farms that rapidly succeeded. They were taught how to do the primary work and saw the results of that work. That sounds like a pretty hands on education. They knew what it took to make a farm work. If their farm did not work, that is their fault. If a student takes a Math class and gets an A in that Math class then comes out of school and gets a Math question wrong is it then the teacher's fault?

Blacks and Whites weren't the only race of people to be enslaved in the US either. Indians were also sold as slaves. They were sold to masters (that includes Whites and Blacks and Indians) by fellow Indians. Once again a race sells their own race. You can't really get mad at another race for that can you?
We can not move forward to the future unless we can move forward from the past. Forgiveness is the solution. Forgiveness is freedom. Freedom from the baggage and the burden of offence. Forgiveness defeats all because it allows for no retaliation. I learned that from a pastor.

In closing, If by some chance this article was not bold enough for you than this next sentence will take care of that. If you are not Indian, you are an immagrant. That's right fuckers you are all immigrants. Once again ha ha ha.

Indians, that is Native Americans, were not given full American citizenship or the right to vote until the 1960's. Not the 1860's like the blacks the 1960's. If anyone deserves to be called an American it's the Indians. Yet these people weren't even given citizenship or the right to vote for the leader of their country til the 60's. That is utterly rediculous. Now, as an Indian am I upset about that? Yeah kinda but it doesn't really surprise me. The US govt has been screwing the indians above anyone else for at least 200 years now. Am I offended or hurt by it? No because I realize that those same Indians that were finally granted full citizen ship in the 60's were the same Indians that faught so hard to make sure the US government federally recognized the fact that they were a "seperate" soverign nation. I do not like seperatism in any race even my own. We can never be equal if we seperate ourselves.

The point is, if you're not where you want to be in life or where you think you should be, do not blame your race. Blame your self. It is not because you are black, indian, gay or fat that you are a loser, it is because of you. Stop blaming other people and races and get off your ignorant ass and make something of your self. Take off the stupid fucking baggy jeans that sag down below your ass and the extremely long t-shirts (this includes the whites and indians that I see do this on a daily basis as well) and go to school you dumbass. Act like a decent fucking human being and stop blaming whites for all your problems and maybe, just maybe you'll get somewhere in life.

The indians were treated worse and so were the Irish. As a matter of fact the Irish were the only race of people in America at the time to be considered lower than the blacks. The Irish were even paid less then black people. There were daily cartoons published in national newspapers making fun of the Irish.  And back during the Cival War the Union soldiers use to cutt off indian woman's breasts and made fucking tabacco pouches out of them. This was done after they massacered the entire village, murdering men woman and children and raping the women. Be lucky you were given food and shelter because they made the indians walk half way across the fuckin country without food or supplies and when they got to where they were forced to walk to the govt said "ya know that land we promised you, yeah well you're not gonna get it. Instead we're gonna shove you in a cow pen and give you fucking diseaded blankets." So fuck off black people. Why don't you think about that Al Sharpton, next time you ask for a fuckin apology on CNN or Foxnews you stupid ignorant fuck! How about an apology to the Original Americans or the Irish.

And what about the Jews? The fuckin pyramids were built on the backs of Jewish slaves. I'm betting that building giant fucking buildings in the desert is way harder then picking fucking cotton on a farm. Dumb fucks. Not to mention the Hollocaust. I don't remember them putting millions of fucking black people in ovens. Fuck off!

...and for fuck's sake stop calling each other the fuckin N word. How dumb are you. "We used so it wouldn't hurt us." No you use it cause you're fucking ignorant and you don't get it.

Ok that's enough I can't take anymore of the bullshit.

Peace out Niggas!

P.S. I know there's spelling errors on these last two. I typed them on WordPad and it has no spell check. Sorry.

Tiger blood and Adonis DNA...Winning!

I just read an article on Yahoo about how a bunch of celebrities (Anne Hathaway who is ugly as fuck and completely unattractive and unfortunately I've had to see her nasty sagging breasts) wrote President Obama, or as I like to call him the HNIC (that's Head Nigga in Charge for those of you who haven't seen Training Day) an "open letter" asking him to get on board with the whole gay marriage thing. Yes I know, with the disaster in Japan and shit storm going on in the middle east and the troops who are still over there and the raised gas prices and the national debt, gay marriage is such an important issue. It's so nice to see celebs jump behind something real. Thank you Anne. They asked Obama to join them and "the rest of the country" and support gay marriage. Here's the link http://news.yahoo.com/s/yblog_theticket/20110315/ts_yblog_theticket/hollywood-a-listers-urge-obama-to-support-gay-marriage#mwpphu-container

Ok well first off Marriage is completely and wholly a tradition braught to us courtesy of the Bible and as we all know the Bible does not support homosexuality so the solution is quite simple and shame on religious figures that marry gay people. Your'e defining what it is to be a hypocrite. Way to stand for your beliefs. God will be so proud of you for taking all that time and devoting your entire life to him just to do something that is in direct conflict with his purpose for your entire creation. Congradulations.

What rights is it exactly that you can't have, or for that matter, that you're missing out on by getting a cival union? What rights is it you can't have by simply living in the same house?

That being said why do gay people use the term "openly gay"? If it's ok to be gay then do it and admit it unless of course you're in the military, in which case be quiet you'll make other people uncomfortable in the showers.

If being gay is natural then why does it envolve a man acting like a woman and a woman acting like a man. That seems odd, weird, peculiar, even queer. lol. If a homosexual relationship is natural then why does one gay person always act guyish and one always act girlish? and even more puzzeling why do all the girly one's hang out together and all the guyish ones do the same? That would seem to infer that a masculine to feminine model works perfectly on a biological level. hmmmm. That doesn't quite mesh with the gay agenda. If you're a man who likes men then why would you do anything like a woman? Wouldn't it be the opposite?

I think everyone would except Homosexuality if gays didn't run the streets half naked in bright pastel colored bikini bottoms and fuzzy cowboy hats, dancing like idiots. Maybe the shirtless, sweaty men dry humping and making out with each other furiously in clubs is a little much. Maybe it's the whole men dressing as a women, acting extremely girly and having entirely too much makeup on thing that makes people not wanna take them seriously. Maybe it's Jack from Will and Grace. Who knows? It's kinda like when some hippie who acts like Chech and Chong tries to tell you that weed isn't harmful at all and should be totaly legal.

All homosexuality is is a sexual prefference. It's not a race. Stop treating it like it is.
The point is gay people, that if you just acted normal and didn't flaunt your sexuality or bring up the fact that you're not "treated equal" every time you have the chance we might stop laughing at you. God, you're as bad as black people and women with whole equality thing. The fact that you focus so much on a sexual prefference tells me that your entire world is based entirely around sex. Sex is your God, sex and designer clothes that is. Which brings me to my next point.

Why is it that if I admonish Charlie Sheen for having sex and partying and just being generally skanky all the time it's ok but if I admonish one of my extremely permiscuous gay friends for doing the same thing but with guys it's judgemental and I'm warranted a biggot? That doesn't seem very equal.

The truth is that some people just plain don't like them no queers but most of us don't like you because you're always perverted and permiscuous and flaunting it and that's simply not tastefull. It's gross and nasty wether you're straight or gay. We dislike you because you're silly. We dislike making out and groping in public because it's trashy and lower class. Just don't act like perverted idiots and it won't be a problem.

and if Obama was to change his thoughts based on the whims of celebrities that would completely discredit him as an intelligent person. In short, it would make hima a bitch.

Dear celebs, I think Obam is wiser and smarter than you and I think he can make a decision about gay marriage on his own.
and secondly celebrities are skanky immoral people themselves. Why would we ever take their guidance. Their oppinions matter about as much as my mechanic's.

The last thing I would wanna do as President is take the advice of the girl from The Devil Wears Prada. Fuck off Anne. You're a terrible actress and you're gonna make the next Batman movie suck.

Fuckin black people!

I know this blog isn't for venting, but...Ok I just walked out in the fuckin blowing snow storm across a frozen tundra baren car lot to get a rich fuckin black couple's brand new fuckin Volvo at 4:25am in the fuckin morning, I had to wear 6 layers of clothing, a snow cap, and 2 hoods, and a pair of gloves just to stay warm and this lousy peice of shit mother fucker gives me is "Thanks man, PPPPreciate it." Mother fucker! cause for some reason black people can't pronounce the fuckin A in appreciate. Fuckin' son of a Bitch!!!!! Fuck him! Guess what black people that's why white people become fuckin racists. You can't even have a common fuckin bit of human fuckin decentcy enough to give a valet even a fuckin dollar when he goes out to fetch your brand new fuckin car in a blizzard. It's one of the worst snow and ice storms in a century btw. It's a snow storm that covers 3/4 of the fuckin' country. Balls the size of fuckin watermelons. You Lousy trifflin mother fucker! You're a pathedic excuse for a human being. I hope him and his fuckin wife die in a vicious car wreck on the way home. peice of shit. Fuck you! I have never wanted to say the N word so bad in my fuckin life. If anyone deserved it, it would be him. Mother fucker! ...and he interrupted my fuckin lunch too...Mother fucker! He was the only person the whole night that didn't tip me btw. Everyone else could see how rediculous it is outside and they at least offered a couple of dollars but no not this motherfucker cause he's black and black people cant tip. I even got a tip from asain people. twice. and asian people never tip. unfuckinbelievable! only a fuckin black man!

Big Ben

       In my blog about black peeps not tipping I told you the story of Lebron James and how he tipped $20 on a 5k bill at a restaurant. That was an example of how a professional black athlete tips. Now I'm going to show you an example of how a professional white athlete tips.

       I just read a article about Ben Roethlisberger on Yahoo. Apparently the 2 time Super Bowl champion, who gets sero respect btw for winning those SB's, takes his offensive line out for dinner the Tuesday before the Super Bowl. It's a tradition for him. After dinner he took the guys to a, Dallas area I'm assuming since the Super Bowl is in Dallas this year, Piano Bar for drinks. After buying himself, as well as, the rest of his teamates and numerous bar patrons multible rounds of drinks he paid the bill. It was $800. He tipped $200. That's right. Just an observation I thought I'd make you aware of. The irony is quite overwhelming so I don't really need to say anymore.

        This is also one of the many reasons why I am going for the Steelers in the Superbowl. It's also one of the many reasons why I like Ben as a player and a person.

Headlines Vol. Uno

Welcome to Headlines. A new world news format created by me, although I'm sure the format isn't completely unfamiliar to you, it is satire. Basically I will list a current U.S. or world headline and then underneath it talk a bunch of shit. You may find it funny, you may not. Either way I don’t care. Sometimes you may not find it funny because you're not smart enough to get it. That's alright; it just means you’re a retard. Satire is not for everyone. I do encourage comments from readers. The point of this fucking blog, after all, is to promote individual thought. Thinking for yourself is important. It is for this reason that I do have to say that the comments on this page do not represent in anyway the thoughts, opinions, or mottos of Blogspot.com. They represent me and my personal quest for freedom of speech and free thought in this pathetic excuse for a generation. Free thought: Something most conservative republicans don’t give a shit about. That was called an example. See we're learning new things already.

First we have Yahoo. Nice, neutral and they never report something unless they’re absolutely sure it’s true. That's called sarcasm.

Husband: Giffords smiled and gave him neckrub
How considerate of him. If my wife is ever shot in the head and goes into a coma I’ll make sure and ask for a neckrub when she wakes up, because I'm sure that's the first thing she'll wanna do after waking from a coma. Come here bitch, give me a neck and when you’re done with that suck my cock…whore. In case you’re wondering in the medical world that’s how you know when someone has come out of a coma, they give you a neckrub. It's actually common medical knowledge. I know this because I watch Scrubs. Damn it Zack Braff is sexy!

The following was an update from the same story. It came out two days later
Giffords’s husband says she recognizes him
Good cause for a minute there I thought I was getting a neck massage from a stranger. I wonder if it had a happy ending?

Apple faces Jobs questions, even as sales set to soar
Despite 50% jump in sales over the past Holiday (Christmas if you're Christian, Xmass, whatever the fuck that is, if you're liberal) the electronics powerhouse may face more pressing questions concerning the health of iconic chief executive Steve Jobs.
Well I'd be sick too if I found out that the Android and the Windows Phone 7 made the iPhone their bitch. His health probably declined even further when he found out they were selling the iPad at Wal-Mart. Don't you realize what will happen if ignorant rednecks are allowed to access Facebook? They already destroyed Myspace with their trailer trash voodoo and Craigslist with their personal ads.

Student tracking finds limited learning in college
Apparently a new study conducted in England has found that most college students aren't really learning anything beyond their Sophmore year.
It’s not that we can’t learn it’s that we don’t give a shit. It's nothing Weed, Beer and unprotected premarital sex with some sweaty guy at a frat party can't fix right guys? That never happened to me I’m just sayin… My problem isn't learning new information, it's that I already know everything I'm being taught. It sucks being smarter than your teachers.

CNN
...CNN is boring and uncool. Only lame upperclass white people like CNN. Moving on...

CBS

Cops: Boy used Birthday rifle to kill kin.
This 14 yr old boy in South Carolina killed his father, another family member and badly wounded his grandmother with a rifle he received from his father for Christmas.
What a genius idea by the father to give his crazy young teen a rifle. I know we live in the south and we have this gigantic hard on for guns here but come on poeple. Maybe if you woulda got 'em that PS3 he wanted in the first place, you wouldn't be dead right now Dad. This is exactly the kind of behavior I would expect from a South Carolina teen, redneck idiots.

Discovery

'Toylet' turns bathroom into arcade
So they have a new toilet in Japan for men's bathrooms, it's made by Sega, and it's a videogame. The screen is on the wall and you use your own urine to win. It has 4 different games. In one of the games a girls skirt is blown up more and more according to how hard you urinate.
Yes that was actually fucking true.
Only in country where you can buy used girl's panties in a vending machine...
I wonder if the game has a 2 player mode?
If you lose the game does the toilet flush?
Why can't girls play? It’s cause they have a vagina.
They have all this amazing technology, that far surpasses ours and they use it to make a urination game?
How clever of the Japanese to change it from toilet to toylet. U so funny.
Is this considered toilet humor?
Oh Sega, how far you've come. From Sonic and Street Fighter to blowing up girls skirts with your piss...The Budah would be so proud!
Those crazy little Japanese porn freaks.


...and now it's time for my favorite part of Headlines: Headlines from Fox News or as I like to call it: Lies and other stupid Bull Shit made up by Bill O'Reily.

 Jen regrets Famous do?
This one was about how Jennifer fuckin Aniston has a hard time losing the weight in her butt and how she hated her famous 'Rachel' haircut.
In these times of political and economic despair it's nice to see a celebrity like Jen Aniston focusing on the real issues, like her hair and how her ass looks in jeans. Thank you Jen for showing us all what it really means to be an american. Leave it to FoxNews to put shit like this in their headlines. Dumbasses. Oh and Jen we also regret your fuckin Rachel haircut. We regret that whole fuckin show. We regret the first Leprechaun movie cause your ugly ass was in it. We regret that peice 'o shit celebreties like you even exist...cunt.

MLK Day
Why don't we just call this God forsaken Holliday what it really is: A reminder from black people that white people suck and that next month (February) belongs to them and their history...Day. You don't have to remind us, we remember, unfortunately. For conservatives it's "Oh MLK was such a good Christian." For Liberals it's "Let's all get along and be equal." Blah blah blah, who cares.
For students like my self Black History month means one thing, we're probably gonna have to write some stupid fuckin essay over a black guy that changed America. Oh George Washington Carver invented Peanut Butter. Big fuckin deal. Thanks alot for contributing to my grandfathers diabetes Georgie. Other than little kids and apparently my grandpa who really likes PB&J anyway? Oh well at least we get outta school for it. The End...

P.S. If you're really angry right now then you should immediately type a response to this. It's always better to not collect your thoughts before commenting on something someone wrote on a blog as a joke.

New Blogs UP!!!!!

There's a new American Emo chapter up and a new Helter Skelter musical review as well

Exclusive Stick

Recently I encountered something quite strange, a phenomenon really, so I thought I would enlighten all of your feeble, adolescent minds by sharing it. Last night, a female, who shall remain unnamed, cough cough, Melissa, didn't want to have sex with me. I know, I honestly couldn't believe it either. I told her that I was absolutely awesome at having sex and that my tongue was like a marathon runner and that my penis is huge and she still said no. She said "Every guy says that." I said "The difference between me and every other guy is I tell the truth and they’re full of shit." I know, good line right. She still didn't want to. I was very disappointed and distraught, almost depressed so I strolled outside of the bar and called my wife. It's ok she knows and I don't care. She was sleeping. I said "Hey, baby doll, you wanna fuck?" She said no. This is just getting ridiculous. She knows better. She's had sex with me a million times. She knows the sex is outstandingly great. She knows the vastness of my penis. I'm joking, I don't have a wife, I don't need one, I pay this old Mexican lady to cook and clean. It was just my girlfriend, who cares if you cheat on them, I don't. This is an exclusive stick I don't share with the world.

            All this female rebellion leads me to my question:

Why would a girl turn down amazing sex from an awesome dick?

I surveyed a bunch of females and these are my results.

The Asian females (8.4%) replied "Me ruv u rong time" I think that means yes I will blow you in Mandarin.

The Black females (12.7%) replied "Motherfucker...black talk ect" I'm not quite sure what her point was I don't speak monkey, so I was at a disadvantage, it's ok i can say that I used to fuck a black female.

The Mexican females (10.1%) replied by saying...who cares they’re hairy, that's gross

The White females (67.4%) replied by saying...I don't know I wasn't really paying attention...they were over the age of 20 and had small tits

In spite of all the intellectual answers I got from these females there was a few decent answers, of which we will dissect now.

Reason #1 "I'm tired"

            I've heard of this weird thing called tired, what is it? I don't understand. It sounds interesting, maybe I'll try it sometime.

I call bullshit on this one. Why? Because it's physically impossible to fall asleep when you’re aroused. It's true I saw it on Kenny VS Spenny. But J.Starr what about all those passed out girls I have unconscented sex with at parties. Well no. 1: get off your mother, she's old and fragile, you'll hurt her, and no. 2: They don't count. Drug or alcohol induced sleep is not real sleep.

Reason #2 "I don't feel good" "My head hurts" "I have a headache" "My vagina is still soar from earlier today"

            blah blah blah Bullshit! Stop whining and take it like your'e supposed to bitch.

When you experience sexual pleasure your blood stream becomes filled with endorphins. Endorphins make your body numb. Sex is a natural painkiller. I don't want to hear "But J I've already came 6x I can't cum anymore. That’s too deep, ow." Bullshit, turn back around, bend back over and take it.

Reason #3 "I've been taking care of the house all day, I just want to relax"

            Too bad. Do some coke and get over it, you’re suppose to take care of the house, it's your job as a female. Besides everyone knows house work isn't real man work anyway. Try having testicles bitch. and no I don't wanna cuddle after...cunt

            I guess apparently I didn't do a good enough job training my bitch. Obviously I'm gonna have to slap her around a little bit when I get home.

Now if you'll excuse me I have to go now. Ben Rothelisberger and I are meeting some underage girls for drinks at Chili’s.

Peace niggas

Luke Scott and the Mystery of the Birth Certificate

Ok wow! I just read a Yahoo sports article about an interview with the Baltimore Orioles ignorant redneck first baseman Luke Scott. This peice o' shit is exactly what's wrong with this country. (The last two sentences were purely oppinion statements and not to be taken litterally.) He said he does not believe that Barack Obama was born here (in the US). What and complete moron (Also an Oppinion). I hope he reads this. Someone send it to him. The best part of the article was the editors insertion of Obama's birth certificate. What a dumbass. I'm so sick of people downgrading our president. The birth validity of Obama is just one of the many stupid rumors about him. He's Muslim, he didn't swear in on the Bible, he's a socialist, he wasn't born here, it's always the same bullshit over and over and I'm tired of it. Most of this shit is just because he's black and our white society can't handle it. I'm fuckin sick of this ignorant redneck bullshit. Get over it, we have a black president, big deal. Idiots.
First the guys talks about growing his beard out then he proceeds to discuss in detail the 2 deer he shot on the the hunting trip he just came back from. He brought pictures with him BTdub. Then he chatters on like a 12 year old school girl about his supercrush for sweaty Teddy Nugent (a fellow gun toating, militant, redneck) and how badly he wants to meet him, then he talks about how he "dusted" the deer with a 7mag, what, is this guy in the fuckin mafia or something, then quickly switches back to Sweaty Teddy ('Ol Ted was mentioned 6 times in the interview). He then continues, as most rednecks do, to expound on hunting and all the places he wants to hunt and how he's like seen braveheart like a million times and like loves it. Yes I'm making fun of him. No that's not how I really talk. He then talks, at extreme length (kinda like this blog post,) about the over population of deer, which is a huge redneck excuse for killing as many deer as possible, then, once again as most rednecks do, he talks about gun control and then starts on how Obama is not a true american and doesn't represent American values and blah blah blah he is not american. What a fuckin idiot. The shitty part is that if you showed the Government issued offical birth certicate that's on the article to Luke Scott he'd probably say oh well that's not real, it's faked, it's been doctored. No matter what evidence you submit to these types of people they refuse to belief. That's beyond ignorance. He has no excuse, he's been acurately informed. That's the definition of denial.
Now because Luke Scott is a douchebag of Kanye West/John mayer-like proportions I will now ridicule him and tear apart everything he said. He's not even that good of a baseball player either. That's why you play for a joke team like the Baltimore Orioles Luke. They can't even compete in their division. Ok let us start with this statement:

"I haven't paid any attention to baseball until recently."
Isn't baseball your profession, wouldn't you want to know more about it?
"I'm a big fan of Ted Nugent because he's a "keep it real" type of guy. He respects wildlife, he loves to hunt. I look at Ted Nugent and ... he's an American. He has the core beliefs of what it means to be an American in his heart. He lives by those beliefs and those principles. It's the same beliefs that our forefathers, who fought for our country, have. I'd be real interested in meeting him one day."
Yep cause being american is all about sex addiction and convincing an underage girls parents to let you be her " Legal gaurdian" so that you can continue to date her without legal intervention.
I think I remeber the forefathers writing something about wango tangoing in the the Declaration of Independence. I think it was called the Scream Dream amendment.
Wasn't Thomas Jefferson the first one to say "I got you in a stranglehold baby"? I think so."DB: How many times have you seen "Braveheart"?LS: Many. It's a great movie, one of my all-time favorites."
Mel Gibson, another psycho he a big fan of, whatta ya know.
"Basically, what you've done is, you've told the man who pays his bills and minds his own business, who's trying to protect his family and provide for his family, if you take away his gun [and] you give him a golf club or a baseball bat, or a knife, and if the criminal has a gun, he's going to win that battle 10 out of 10 times.
The real issue behind these people who are gun grabbers, the truth is — based on fact — the reason why is, they want control. They want control of the people. That's what socialism is and communism." (on gun control)
Why do rednecks insist that Obama is trying to take their guns away. Do they really believe that Barack is gonna literally come in a take their guns away from them? The point of Obama's gun control policies is to prevent convicted felons from owning guns. Of course the problem with this is that criminals will continue to illegally by firearms no matter what the government does. The benefit: If theyr'e caught with a gun their punishment will be greater, therefore taking them off the street, therefore removing crime from our society.
He can't be a socialist and a communist at the same time dude, pick one. By his statement one could assert that because he's opposed to socialism and the common opposition to socialism is capitalism that he's a capitalist right? Capitalism is such a better choice, your'e right Luke. The richest people should control everything because that's fair. That provides freedom for everyone including all those immigrants you were talking so good about to come over here and continue to be poor. Capitalism doesn't afford everyone the equal opportunity at success. It continues current statuses. Those wretched poor stay poor and the awesome rich stay rich. what a load of (as rednecks would say) Horseshit.
"Obama ... hmm ... Obama does not represent America. Nor does he represent anything what our forefathers stood for. This country is basically built on an attitude. It's a way of life. It's not because you're born here. It's not that you're supposed to take from those who have and give to those who haven't. That kills a country. It killed Russia."
So it's not because we're born in America that we're free?
No one give. It's bad to give to the less fortunate. This is America! We don't tolerate that shit! If your poor it's your fault. Get a job you bum! Giving killed Russia! They took our jobs! Ted Nugent!
"That's what tears down a people, tears down nations. Hence, the problem we're having in this country, where we're experiencing unemployment. We're experiencing all of these negative things that are happening in our land as a direct result of that type of attitude — of too much government involvement, of moral decay, and of people lacking honor and integrity."
It must be so hard for you to make millions of dollars a year for playing a sport that you love. I feel so bad that "we're" barely making it. It must take all the the honor and integrity you have to get up everyday and play a game. Your'e such an american. Our troops are out there everyday fight for professional baseball. You stupid moronic motherfucker.
"Obama, he doesn't represent that. He represents, "Hey, everyone. Give me votes and I'll give you stuff.""
"I'll say something to somebody to get their vote, but if I have to compromise what I believe in, there's no honor in that. There's no integrity. That's not a leader."
God, I love contradiction!
"DB: You don't think that Obama wasn't born in the United States, do you?LS: He was not born here.DB: [Sighs].LS: That's my belief. I was born here. If someone accuses me of not being born here, I can go — within 10 minutes — to my filing cabinet and I can pick up my real birth certificate and I can go, "See? Look! Here it is. Here it is." The man has dodged everything. He dodges questions, he doesn't answer anything. And why? Because he's hiding something.""
You know why he doesn't run in a panic and scramble to grab his birth certificate to prove to a bunch ignorant fucktard rednecks that he's American. Because he's the fuckin President! He doen't have to prove anything to your dumbass. Do you really think the American government is going let someone who's not an american citizen be the fuckin President. God your'e stupid.
"Come on. If you're born here, there's plenty of documents. But you know what? There's no documentation of him. No legal documentation of him."

Come on!
"I took red stag at a ranch in Pennsylvania. ... This was earlier. This was two days after the season was over. Here he is, red stag."
"There needs to be accountability for the truth. I don't care if you're the president of the United States, you need to be held accountable. If you're involved in treacherous acts, or you're saying things that are against, or are selling out our country, you should be brought to trial. I mean, no one's above the law."
Isn't killing game out of season illegal? Hmmm....
"There's a lot of people that fought for their country and that's not something to be taken lightly. They gave their life, everything they had, they gave their lives, to give us what we have. That's why I'm so passionate about my beliefs -- because someone died. They gave their life, their blood was spilled, so I had an opportunity to chase a dream and play baseball for a living."
Yep because that's the first thing on the troops mind, Pofessional Baseball, and mainly you playing, not anyone else though. Just you.

fortunately for Luke Scott we have something in this country called freedom of speech and no one can really stop him from saying what he wants to say. Unfortunately for Like Scott I also have that freedom.

Until next time, keep reading.